Happiness. It’s a word that carries immense weight and expectation. Most of us spend our lives searching for it, thinking that it’s something we can achieve by reaching certain goals: getting that dream job, finding the perfect partner, or living in a beautiful house. But often, even when we check all the boxes, something feels missing. There’s an underlying dissatisfaction, a sense that we’re not quite there yet, no matter how hard we try.
The truth is, no amount of external success can bring lasting joy if we haven’t done the internal work. Unless and until you find, release, and heal your Core Wounds—those deep-seated fears, traumas, limiting beliefs, patterns, and blocks--you simply can’t live a truly happy life or have a fabulous, juicy, contented relationship.
Core wounds are the emotional, mental, and spiritual scars that form from painful experiences, often during childhood. These wounds shape our beliefs, perceptions, and behaviors. For example, if you experienced abandonment as a child, you may carry a fear of rejection into adulthood, leading to a pattern of avoiding intimacy or sabotaging relationships.
Core wounds manifest in different ways for everyone, but the common thread is that they prevent us from living in alignment with our true selves. They keep us stuck in cycles of self-sabotage, low self-worth, and fear, making it impossible to create the life and relationships we deeply desire.
Some examples of core wounds include:
- Fear of abandonment: A deep-rooted fear of being left or rejected.
- Fear of not being good enough: A pervasive belief that no matter what you do, it’s never enough.
- Fear of failure: The belief that you are destined to fail, often resulting in procrastination or avoidance of challenges.
- Fear of intimacy: An underlying anxiety around getting too close to others, leading to emotional distance or relationship sabotage.
These wounds don’t just affect your emotional wellbeing—they seep into every area of your life, impacting your career, relationships, health, and sense of purpose. You may feel disconnected from others, constantly anxious, or like you’re walking through life with a heavy burden on your shoulders.
When it comes to relationships, core wounds can be particularly damaging. They create invisible barriers between you and the deep connection you crave. You may find yourself stuck in toxic patterns, repeating the same mistakes in relationships, or attracting partners who reflect your unhealed wounds.
For example, if you have a core wound related to feeling unworthy of love, you might unconsciously seek out partners who reinforce that belief—partners who are emotionally unavailable, dismissive, or even abusive. On the other hand, if you fear abandonment, you might cling too tightly to your partner or avoid commitment altogether.
This cycle of attracting the wrong partners or sabotaging healthy relationships can feel like a never-ending loop, leaving you frustrated, lonely, and disconnected from your true desires. However, the good news is that by uncovering and healing your core wounds, you can break free from these patterns and create the kind of loving, fulfilling relationships you’ve always wanted.
Core wounds act like subconscious programs running in the background of your mind, influencing your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors without you even realizing it. They can lead to self-destructive patterns like:
- Self-sabotage: Engaging in behaviors that keep you from achieving your goals, such as procrastination, self-doubt, or picking fights with your partner.
- Limiting beliefs: Holding onto false ideas about yourself and the world, like "I'm not good enough" or "I’ll never be successful."
- Repeating cycles: Attracting the same kinds of people or situations over and over again, such as toxic relationships or jobs that drain you.
-Avoidance: Ignoring difficult emotions or situations rather than facing them head-on, leading to a buildup of unresolved pain.
These patterns keep you locked in a state of dissatisfaction and prevent you from experiencing true happiness and fulfillment. However, once you become aware of these wounds and patterns, you can begin the healing process.
Healing core wounds isn’t a quick fix or a one-size-fits-all process, but it is possible. It requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to face the pain and fear you’ve been avoiding. Here’s how you can begin the journey of finding and releasing your inner wounds:
1. Acknowledge Your Wounds: The first step in healing is becoming aware of your core wounds. Reflect on your life, relationships, and recurring patterns. What fears or beliefs keep showing up? What triggers intense emotional reactions in you? These are often clues to your core wounds.
2. Practice Self-Awareness: Cultivate a practice of mindfulness and self-awareness. This helps you identify the moments when your core wounds are being activated. Notice when you’re feeling triggered, and instead of reacting on autopilot, take a pause to understand where the feeling is coming from.
3. Journal Your Thoughts and Feelings: Writing is a powerful tool for healing. Journaling about your experiences, emotions, and patterns can help you gain clarity and insight into your wounds. Ask yourself questions like, “What do I believe about myself in this moment?” or “When have I felt this way before?”
4. Seek Support: Healing core wounds can be a deeply emotional process, and it’s important to have support. This could be in the form of a therapist, coach, or spiritual guide. They can help you navigate the complexities of your wounds and offer tools for healing.
5. Practice Self-Compassion: Healing isn’t linear, and it’s important to be gentle with yourself along the way. Instead of criticizing yourself for your patterns, practice self-compassion. Remember, your core wounds formed as a way of protecting you from pain. Now, it’s time to let them go, but do so with kindness and patience.
6.Release Emotional Blockages: Many healing modalities focus on releasing the emotional energy stored in your body. This can include practices like meditation, breathwork, energy healing, or even physical movement like yoga. These practices help release the trapped emotions and traumas that are keeping you stuck.
When you do the work to heal your core wounds, something magical happens. You begin to feel lighter, freer, and more aligned with your true self. You stop attracting the same toxic relationships and patterns and start creating a life that reflects your highest potential. Your relationships improve, not only with others but with yourself.
By healing your wounds, you’re not just removing the gunk that’s been holding you back—you’re creating space for new possibilities, joy, and deep connection. You begin to experience relationships where you feel truly seen, valued, and loved. You start living from a place of wholeness, rather than seeking external validation to fill the void.
Most importantly, you realize that happiness isn’t something that exists outside of you. It’s something you cultivate from within by releasing the fears, traumas, and limiting beliefs that have been weighing you down. True joy, love, and connection are your birthrights, and they are possible when you commit to healing from the inside out.
Introducing My Free Online Shadow Work Class
Are you ready to begin your journey of healing and transformation? If this post resonated with you, I invite you to join my free online shadow work class. In this class, we’ll dive deep into the process of uncovering your core wounds, releasing emotional blockages, and stepping into your true power. You’ll learn practical tools and techniques to heal your inner self and start living the life of freedom, joy, and connection you deserve.
Healing your core wounds is the key to unlocking a life of happiness, purpose, and love. Let’s take the first step together. Sign up for my free shadow work class today, and let’s begin your journey toward lasting transformation.
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